I keep hearing all this stuff about supposed “Mommy Wars” and I’m confused as to how their could be any kind of dispute. Surely it’s just up to each family to decide what is best for them. As far as I can tell from my friends often the decision about whether to work or not isn’t a choice anyway it is a necessity in order to pay the bills. We live in London where childcare for two kids is £100/ day upwards and this is just for your middle of the range nursery so our decision was not just would we like me to be at home but also is there any point in going back to work when so little would be left over after childcare. If finances are not the only issue then I think it comes down to personal choice and what will make you most happy. A woman forced to stay at home when she wants to be out at work I don’t think would make the best mummy and vice versa. Mummies also need to be happy themselves to be able to have the patience and enthusiasm for that 100th reading of ‘there’s an ouch in my pouch’. I am for the most part a SAHM although I work for 10hrs per week and in the evenings have a little business writing CVs and providing interview coaching (check us out www.peopleandnumbers.co), but I don’t think that makes me a better mummy than my friends who work full time. I admire the sheer organisational abilities that they have as I am a shambles most of the time and I have no excuse! I also find that when they are not working they organise great stuff to do with the kids as the time is so precious. As they are working they can afford cleaners etc… so often have more free time than me and I find myself trying to Hoover with a toddlers ‘help’ a slow process I’m sure you would agree. Having said that I love being able to be with my boys most of the time and would never change it. I feel privileged to be a SAHM and for me it would have been horrible to have to go back to work again after having my second child. I just hating leaving them, but now they still have a nanny when I am working so I think maybe it was the childcare choice and my job I wasn’t happy with rather than actually the act of leaving the children.
So in short I think that the concept of ‘mommy wars’ is at best stupid and at worst spiteful and hurtful. Why is it that women are often so unable to support one another? No one points the finger at Daddies who work day and night they are simply applauded for supporting their families so I think working women should be given a break and to those working mothers who look down their noses at SAHMs shame on you too!! Everyone just mind your own business and worry about your family I say.
Kx
