Our biggest boy!

Lovely readers if you are rather sick of me gushing about the littles on their birthday I do apologize, but it is only once a year – it just seems more as they are altogether… I promise not to gush for sometime after this one and to go back to my slightly irritated self. So do indulge me just once more whilst I gush just a little alot about our biggest boy…

I can still remember how it felt to hold my biggest boy after waiting for so long to get him.  A stressful fertility struggle ultimately led to that lovely little face looking back at me and I can scarcely believe that was now 7 years ago.  He is the last birthday during crazy birthday season and so he feels like he waits so long.  His excitement is barely containable by the time the big day actually arrives, but I must admit by that point I am really slapping on a smile and just getting through it!

This doesn’t mean it isn’t special to me that this little person is growing up; far from it in fact.  I love all of the littles and their arrival has changed me forever and has shaped who I will be for the rest of my life, but there is something so overwhelming about becoming a mother for the first time that the birthday of my eldest always makes me a little more reflective.  Reflective on the journey to get him and on how far we have come since then and how our lives have changed.

This time of year also reminds me to stop and look at my lovely not so little, little boy.  To look how he has grown into the most caring big brother the girls or his brother could ever hope for.  To see how hard he tries at school and how well he is doing.  To appreciate that he is such a helpful little soul who (most of the time) wants to be mummy’s right hand.  I can see now that he wants to be more independent.  He loves nothing more than that he is allowed to have his morning orange juice in a glass when the others are all still on plastic cups.  He grabs the chance for extra responsibility and was recently thrilled when I let him get his own cereal.

I love to see how proud he is of himself when he can do these things and be more grown up and yet it cracks my heart a little each time.  I break a little each time he runs off in the playground before saying goodbye and I have to remind him to give me a cuddle and yet it also makes me smile to see him so happy and to know that I am a part of him just as he will always be a part of me.

So to my eldest boy… Happy 7th Birthday.  I love you always and forever my little fire.   Don’t stop holding my hand too soon xx